Getting past the fear

Here comes the fear gain.
The end is near again.
If you ever get that chimp off your back.
If you ever find the thing that you lack
  -- Pulp - The Fear

Every writer, every researcher, anyone who is involved in a creative endeavour knows The Fear, or to give the beast its full title, The Fear of Being Wrong. When a writer states at an empty page, when an improviser freezes on an empty stage, it is The Fear that is at work, telling us that “if you don’t play you can’t lose.”

It’s comfortable in the dark. Let the fear keep you safe.

Last November I took part in the so-called National Novel Writing Month (known as nanowrimo to those who know it as such). I say “so called” as it is really an international event now. As the title suggests, the goal is to write a novel in a month. More precisely, the aim is to write a 50,000 word novel in a month, which I… sort of managed. I defiantly wrote 50,000 words. It could be considered a book with a very large cliff-hanger, as I only got through about a third of the plot. Still, having to bang out 1667 words a day is one way of stopping the fear, as you quickly find that you cannot worry too much about the quality when you have to write that fast. You can’t put it off; you just have to type.

And what I wrote was — rubbish. Not stinking unmitigated poop, but it had the whiff of amateur drivel about it, from the teenage fantasy setting to the pacing problems via 2d-character central. However, that’s how you learn. The issue is, when you want to write something really good, and you care about the quality, who might want to do a bit of planning. For instance, you (I) may want to work up some quality characters, figure out some of their motivations and pick and research the setting before writing. Then the question becomes: how do you (I) overcome The Fear when you are (I am) researching? Reading between the lines here, you may have guessed that I have a novel that I am currently working on. I’m saying nothing more: those who know me I’ve probably already blabbed to; everyone else can wait for the publishing party.

My current answer to this particular spawning of The Fear (and I will let you know how this goes), is to set short-term deadlines for the current part of the research. For example, the aim for the next two weeks is to brainstorm what characters might live in the setting I’m working on, writing a scene for each two or three people to see how they interact.

I know that such short-term goals might merely placate The Fear, letting it work further back in the darkness, making me set short-term goals that only skirt the main issues so that I never answer the big questions. But knowing that is half the battle, yes?

Perhaps. But it’s a sneaky beast, using your own intellect against you. Because giving into the fear is to hide in the darkness in safety. Got to be brave and stand in the light, even though that means you might get shot down by a sniper disguised as a mixed metaphor. Bastards.